Early, one Friday morning my former coaching client (call her “Barbara”) called my office and left me a long, super-excited voice mail message. Her excited phone call was to tell me that she had finally learned (the hard way) that there is much more to the abundant life, than just men and marriage. If nearly all your goals, and virtually all your time, are connected to finding and keeping a mate, then you’ve lost touch with your unique and precious identity as an individual.

In the past Barbara had been the type who would get herself so wrapped up in dating and relationships that nothing else mattered. How well—or how poorly—it was going became her total obsession. Her excited phone call was to tell me that she had finally learned (the hard way) that there is much more to the abundant life, than just men and marriage. Today, I’m led to remind YOU of that very same fact. Who you are — and how you are– are much too valuable for you to EVER let that happen.

If nearly all your goals, and virtually all your time, are connected to finding and keeping a mate, then you’ve lost touch with your unique and precious identity as an individual. Believe me, if you aren’t able to experience contentment and self-satisfaction apart from a relationship, you won’t experience it in one either. The truth is, when your love life becomes your whole life, you won’t have enough of a life to share with a mate. I couldn’t have said it better myself.

The truth is, when your love life becomes your whole life, you won’t have enough of a life to share with a mate. If you abandon either priority you’ll be at risk of losing both. Who you are — and how you are– are much too valuable for you to EVER let that happen. “My steps toward my mate, whoever he is, are now coming from desire for a relationship, NOT from fear of being alone. Neither one of us benefits if I give up my life to get his love.” I couldn’t have said it better myself.